Fair cop, Gov! By Kit Villiers

It must have been sometime on that well-remembered Sunday that Mr K.K. Wong of Realty Gardens, 41A Conduit Road, telephoned Central Police Station to report that his car was missing, presumed stolen.

A couple of miles away and at about the same time I was also beginning to get somewhat worried: well, I thought, there's not much I can do about it now. I resolved to check with Tony's secretary next morning, and, if what I was beginning to suspect was true, I could quickly inform the police too.

Basically what had happened was that my boss at the time, Tony Grant, had kindly lent me his car while he was on holiday. He had handed over a set of Morris keys and said that his car was parked in the basement car-park at Realty Gardens. The Saturday after his departure I duly pitched up at his block of flats and found a Morris in the basement, and drove off. As I saw no other British car and the keys fitted, at first I never thought any more about it. A little nervous about driving with all those hills and the heavy traffic, I didn't in fact use the car at all after I'd got it over to my flat.

What had caused slight alarm was the fact that there was a child seat in the back. Tony had no young children.

I dashed into work early that Monday, and Tony's secretary rang the maid in Tony's flat. She went down to the basement, and confirmed my fears: his car was still there! I don't know if you have ever reported a crime to the police. It seems that the police (the Royal Hong Kong Police at any rate appeared at that time to fall into this category) are ill-equipped to deal with criminals confessing to their misdemeanours; their system could handle only calls from victims. 'Has your car been stolen?' the officer kept asking. 'No', I kept replying, 'I am the the thief!'

Having finally established the fact that I was the perpetrator of the dastardly deed, I was summoned to appear at Central Police Station the next morning. I had of course returned the the car in the meantime. Sub-Inspector Chan (who looked about 18) sat Mr Wong and me down together and made what I thought was a pretty sensible decision: if Mr Wong didn't complain of misuse of his property while in my possession within the next 24 hours I could regard the matter as closed. She asked me to hand over a few dollars for the petrol I'd used, and then I was dismissed. Luckily I heard nothing further.

And what had caused this (take your pick) confusion/mistake/crime? Well the fact is I didn't realise that Realty Gardens has two car-parks. When I made off with Mr Wong's car from Basement A, Tony's car was lurking all the time in Basement B, just beneath my feet. I guess I'll know next time!

By Kit Villiers